tisdag 31 december 2013

Ups and downs,
A life of a single human being.
We know both pure happiness,
And the darkest despair.
But now I am locking it all up,
To see another tomorrow. 

Everyone will see my cracks and wounds,
Just as intended.
   They will know what I have been trough,
As one last warning.
Can you feel my heart?

I wish all a happy new year,
With a new start,
To all that is broken.

I will climb higher than before,
And leave everything behind. 

Dear friend, you I loved for years.
You who shared my pain,
Who knew me like the back of your hand.
The one I called soulmate.
Thank you for holding me close,
But there is no future in sight,
And I know you hold me close. 
Because only I understand.
But now, I am going to let go.
I am not needed here any more.

My love, you who have been mine for the last year.
Someone who actually cared.
Someone who saw the real me from behind your glasses.
Thank you for letting me take care of you,
I know you have it hard sometimes,
But I am not needed anymore.
And I am now closing the door back to you. 
I know you will never love me again,
And neither will I do it to you. 
Because I know,
That's what you would have wanted.

My only And real friend.
I know you won't be reading this,
But thank you for listing to me all these years.
I won't speak anymore.
But I am grateful for our time together.

My journey is about to end,
But someone else will take my place,
Tomorrow, you will take my place.
And you will be selfish,
Only to let me survive this time. 

I will look back here,
And know I did the right thing.
What about you?
You will never know. 

torsdag 26 december 2013

I am trying to write, 
The best I can. 
But I don't have the strength nor the words.
Still, I will do my best,
Because you asked me to.

Think this as a letter, 
Page of paper,
Ink splatter and bad writing. 
That's just what it is.
A letter.
One I regret writing.

I will take my leave,
I do not have place to call home. 
I have lost you,
As have you,
Lost me. 

You are going away, 
To a new place, 
New friends, 
A new life.

I am trying harder,
Study what I need.
Becoming who I am suppose to be.
In all this rush,
We lost grip of each other.

I can't hear you voice calling anymore.
Our souls seems to been drifting apart.
Today I understand.
That this was the right choice,
For the both of us.

I won't be seeing you again my friend.

lördag 21 december 2013

Don't cry dear.
We are up so late to watch the world.
Watch it change in colours we can't even imagine.
Listen to my heartbeat,
I listen to yours.

We are alike,
Ups and down.
Same eyes,
Same kind of life.
But we have much to learn,
Before we are able to say it.

Let us just take it easy,
Sleep away our problems.
And stay up all night just talking,
Be there for eachother,
Like no one other.

I can see a city flashing by,
What can you see?
Next to me?
Take my hand,
And we can find out.

fredag 20 december 2013

Broken bones need to be rebuild,
Tears and blood will stop flowing.
Wounds need to be sewn shut.
To build a human being takes time,
But then again,
I have all the time in the world.

One thing I can't replace or build anew though,
Are my memories.
They will either be kept,
Or forgotten.
To be able to live again,
To keep my mind sane.

I'm letting go of you,
Wash everything away.
Erasing memories.
I will alway be there for you,
Even if you are a stranger.

I will be different,
I will be new.
I will be whole this time.

torsdag 19 december 2013

Why would it ever be a difference?
I am still who I am.
No matter what people may say.
And when I look down att my scars and bruises,
I just smile,
I am alive.

I am happy that you care for me,
But its not like it is something new.
So dont pretend to care now.
I have been like this forever.
I promise you,
I am able to take care of myself my friend.

I am still bleeding,
But I can walk on.
It still hurts,
But I am able to bear with it.
I will never see tommorrow,
If I hide from it.

I miss you less and less,
I am able to take myself back.
I will dream of a future,
Without you.

onsdag 18 december 2013

I keep on trying,
To be someone for everyone.
Don't let them fall.
Protect what I love.
I fall.

They say strength is something I always had.
"Strong to keep going forward"
"To be able to survive all that happend to you"
For some reason,
I can't see it.
I just did what had to be done.

I hurts alot,
But everything is worth a smile,
to see someone you love happy.
Isn't it what it is all about?

If I am alive?
If I am feeling well?
If I am happy?
It doesnt really matter.
I have already fallen.

tisdag 17 december 2013

The will to exist is leaving me.
No need to try anymore.
Tired eyes moving around the room,
Soon enough,
I will be fast asleep.
No need to worry the world.

My body feels heavy,
And heart aches.
My hands are so numb,
And my eyes are hard to keep open.

My nights are usually full of nightmares.
But for once,
I believe there will be nothing.
Just darkness.
A place  to go away form everything.

I close my eyes,
Letting out a weak sigh.
I know,
Nothing is left now.

måndag 16 december 2013

Leave me,
Get out of my head.
Go away,
I can't handle this.
It is to much.

I'm losing it,
I can't control myself.
I'm breaking,
I'm shaking.
I'm lost..

Why must you stay,
Where I can't reach you?
Just go..

I am lost,
So are you.
Different worlds,
Same kind of pain.
One wants to be alone,
The other needs comfort.
It's hard to see the end of it..

I wish I could talk to you,
Just small words,
To feel needed.
You want acceptance,
From the world,
In another perspective.
We really stand out,
Don't we?

I know it all to well.
I will say this for you to.
I wish it all was better,
I want to be free.
Just be ourselves.

But for now,
We can just stay still,
In each others arms.
Just for a while longer. 

söndag 15 december 2013

We all have been there atleast once.
Our chest burns,
And butterflies in the stomach.
Light headed,
Kinda like a sugar rush.

To meet that special one,
To fall in love.
To know what your place in the world is.
We all have those places.
The people.
The feelings.

But sometimes it just doesnt work,
But why would you start hating for that?
I just don't get it,
Why can't I be happy for them?
The ones who left.

Becuase deep inside,
I know,
Feelings don't go away.
They just hide,
And becomes forgotten.
For now,
For the time being.

I will smile for you,
Even if I am gone.

lördag 14 december 2013

I will watch over you,
Take away all the pain.
I will be your light,
No need for you to walk in the darkness.
I will be your helping hand.
You should be happy when you have the chance.

Please stop hurting yourself,
Love who you are,
Becuase I do.
I will bleed it out for you.
Every cut and every bruise,
Let me be your sheild.

I am like a shadow in your steps.
The air you breath,
The heartbeat in your body.
Live the life you want.
I will take all of your fears.

I will cry it all out,
For the both of us.

fredag 13 december 2013

I fight for what I believe in.
I sacrifice much for what I love.
I became who I am,
To protect what I hold dear.

But what happens,
When these reasons rip you apart?
What will happen,
When your skin tears apart?
And you can't recover anymore?

It scares me,
What words can do to my fragile mind.
Or even worse,
What I can do against my body.

It is ridiculous,
How easily I die.

torsdag 12 december 2013

The snow have started to fall,
And the days flies by.
Soon enough,
It will be six years.
Six years ago I meet you.

A long journey,
With pain and suffering.
But it was worth it,
I felt happiness.
And what true love meant.

We have grown,
Into something beautiful.
And I promise you,
We will make it trough.
I will make you smile.

Chained by fate,
I will light up your darkness.
Wipe away your tears.
Stay by your side,
Until you are able to see,
See yourself the way you want to be seen.

onsdag 11 december 2013

Im so cold.
So hollow.
I have no where to go anymore,
No place to call home.
I am losing my faith.

It aches inside,
And I feel like crying.
But for some reason,
I just can't.
I have nothing to show,
Emotions don't exist.

Just now,
I just want to breath.
I want to lay down,
And fade away.

How does it feel?
I am so tired.
I want to sleep..

tisdag 10 december 2013

Your words finally came.
After such a long time,
I was able to get you to write to me.
Words from the heart,
Those I am used to.

Its hard to write about things,
Especially my feelings for you.
Because they are absolutely everywhere.
But I want you to be able to understand.

No one have ever been able to change my life as much as you did.
You still do it from time to time,
I know you are not able to see it.
But our little conversations means alot to me.

You may be another person now,
But your eyes are the same,
I know how to make you laugh.
I know what makes you cry.
How to hold you,
How to be someone you need.

If I ever get married, It is you and you know it.
If I ever die, It will be at your side.
I miss you, so much.
Becuase, you are the only angel in my life.

måndag 9 december 2013

The world seems so distant.
Like nothing really matter anymore.
But I guess the world is just to big,
For such a small being like me.

At this timeless hour,
I feel at home.
My head against the window,
And my thoughts far away.

The stream of light from outside,
Cheerfully playing with the shadows at my lap.
Ice is building up against the glass.
But its not cold nor warm.
Just a moment of silence.

You know,
When we talk, 
It makes me wonder.
If we where close from the beginning.

I guess I just miss the hours,
When we where timeless.

söndag 8 december 2013

Flickering lights,
Calls from the past.
The wounds,
The scars.
I know them all.

The other side of a coin.
The light in the dark.
The warmth in winter.
Me, myself.

Everything you do,
I feel.
Every thought you think,
I thought of.
All that you have done,
I know.

Everything I do,
Is for you.
Even if its hard right now,
I know,
I know what you are going through.

Our hearts are connected.
They beat as one.
We sleep in the same dreams.
And sees the same sky,
As always.

I'm still here,
Waiting for you.
because if there is something,
I can't let you go.

torsdag 5 december 2013

To act without thinking.
To let go of your feelings.
Let your inner self deal with everything you hate.
Become the animal we actually are.

I am happy,
To be able to hate you.

onsdag 4 december 2013

Deep within.
blackened the heart,
Kills who I am suppose to be.
The demons inside has awaken.

I am dying.
No humanity left,
Game over.
I am already giving up.
All I see,
Is red.

The truth is,
It was just a matter of time,
Before this would happen.
All I needed,
Was a little push.

tisdag 3 december 2013

These stiches can hold me togheter anymore.
Everything I knew died.
And the hope of being okay,
Withered away.

Voices so cold,
Rips apart the little of sanity I have.
And If I close my eyes,
Im not sure I will be able to open them again.

No time to breath,
No time to live.
Just leave me alone.
Go away.
Come back another day.

måndag 2 december 2013

The more I try to survive,
The world decide to bring me down.
Everything around us is pain at some level.
And this is about it,
How much shit I can carry.
Before I break.

All this evil.
All this hate,
It leave marks.
Wounds across my body.
Brings out the worst of me,
And the end of us.

It hurts.
Alot more than I thought.
I am broken.
Nothing left to see.
Nothing more to be.

My only thoughts are simple.
When do I end this torment?

söndag 1 december 2013

När allt kommer omkring,
Så står vi närmast,
Till dem som är längst bort.

Kärleken blir så stark.
Och den man älskar så mycket,
Blir tillslut till avund,
Till hat.

Ett misstag vi har sett förut.
Men som vi nog aldrig kunde vända oss ifrån.
Och efter alla känslor vi har känt,
Hat, sorg, förtvivlan, desperation, glädje, lycka, kärlek, hopp.
Så står vi här,
I tystnad.

Utan ord.
Står vi här,
Ett tag till.