Missing

En illusionists ärlighet varar längst.

Sista blosset är draget.

Hör och häpna,

Vi i världen är beväpna.

Vräk kungen ur tronen,

Döda mannen,

I namnet Nationen.

Signalera kulle och berg,

Nu målar vi landet i färg.

Tapperhet ligger på gator och på torg,

Aldrig mer känner pessimisten sorg.

För dödsviljan finns inte mer,

Inte där människan i alla fall ser.

Ärligheten vara längst säg det.

Jag önskar vi kunde se från min blindhet.

Jag älskar dig fortfarande min vän,

Men alla vet att jag kommer se döden igen.

Vi kommer glida isär,

Frågan är bara när.

  

Just let me keep this last one.

Winter is changing, soon enough spring will be here again.

I have been down for as long as I can remeber.

And for once I feel normal.

Like a different person, I am ready to go for a walk.

Take one step at the time.

Maybe love again?

Everything burns to ashes,

And memories fades with the day.

I was a dreamer on the run.

But it is time I let go of you.

And everything else thats been in my way.

In the way for me to understand, to heal, to grow.

I will keep one thing,

A memory of you and me. 

back in may 29th.

A moment of silence.

And an embrace of eternity.

All About me.

I am happy for you, it seems that you have finally forgotten completly.

From friend to lovers to strangers.

And at last, gone.

For the moment I live in a world of fantasy.

Spare me humanity,

Save me from reality.

I am so sorry.

But I can't keep the promise I made you.

I won't call you this time.

I won't answer.

I wish for a better tomorrow. A reality that works.

Where you and I can still see each other.

It seems like I am dreaming.

Lost in my own imagination.

But please,

Let me believe a while longer.

I need it..

I wish I could understand myself, but we both know.

I am long beyond treatment.

Most of the time I feel normal.

Nothing to worry about, just a person like any other.

I can even see myself happy at times.

That is until I get the feeling of lonliness.

Later at nights when everyone else leaves.

I start to feel restless, staring in the wall or out the window.

I try to calm myself, but everything just picks up the pace.

Get up and start walking around at two meters square.

Bearthing gets nearly impossible.

I try to read, watch a movie or play.

Sometimes it works, I wish it was more often.

I try to open my mouth, speak with someone in the world.

But it needs to be the right person in the right time.

Or it will end with me, paralyzed with fear for the world.

Pushing myself up the corner of my room,

Afraid of what kind of monster I have inside my mind..

Mostly it's okay, until the moment I start to inflict physical damage.

I scratch and hit soft spot on my body, leaving bruises.

I can cut and rip apart skin, tear away what little layer of humanity I have left.

But pain is the only way for me to realise I am still alive.

I don't see another way out when I am so deep down the hole.

At last, if I don't feel to destory my own body.

I always have the thoughts deep inside.

What would happen if I just fall forward at high trafficed road?

What I jumped of this bridge?

What if I just died here and now?

Would it not be for the better?

I wish to understand myself,

But where do I begin?

And how would I ever be able to end it all?

I mean, I'm just a normal person,

With a dark secret..

Do we know eachother?

It seems like I once had a connection with you.

A faint bond, decaying strings.

A dying feeling you said.

Holding secrets for me.

It feels like the listener is deaf.

And the speaker is mute.

We are not getting anywhere.

Not anymore.

With each passing day,

I am succumbing to the shadows,

And you seem to forgotten me along the way.

I did expect it to come to this,

But still I can't really accept it.

But what choice do I have.